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In training a new telescope operator tonight, there were a couple of observers in the room giggling at my instructions.
Our 35 year old telescope control computer has a few regular instructions of amusement.
SNAFU (written on the “second night” of commissioning when it was discovered that as well engineered as it was, the telescope seemed to exhibit systematic and most importantly, modellable errors (no one knew, before writing our TCS, whether a telescope could be computerised. They were happily surprised when it turned out to be so precise). We have run a SNAFU procedure at the start of every night, since, situation normal, but it has enabled us to be the most accurate pointing large telescope in the world.)
FOCOFF (focus offset).
FOCIT (initialise focus table)
POSOFF (offset between stars)
PERV (display velocity corrections)
Once last winter, I fed in the atmospheric conditions of 0degC, 672mmHg, and it came back to me with
“IF YOU ARE A BRASS MONKEY, I STRONGLY ADVISE YOU TO STAY INSIDE THE CONTROL ROOM”